Active Listening - What it Isn't

🌀 "The Nodding Robot" – You’re nodding constantly, but your eyes are glued to your phone and you haven’t heard a word since “So basically…”

🎯 "The One-Upper" – They say, “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately,” and you reply, “Oh you think you’re stressed? Wait till you hear about my week!”

🗣️ "The Fix-It Machine" – Before they even finish talking, you're already giving them five-point plans, a TED Talk, and an Amazon link to a mindfulness journal.

💤 "The Zoner" – You’re smiling and nodding, but in your head you’re debating what to have for dinner and wondering if you left the oven on.

So what is active listening then? It means giving someone your full attention with the goal of understanding their experience, not solving their problem.

It’s about being present, open, and patient — even in silence.

🛠️ How to Practise Active Listening:

●Stop and focus – put away distractions, turn toward them

●Use minimal encouragers – nodding, “Mm-hmm,” “I see”

●Avoid interrupting or offering solutions too soon

●Reflect back – “It sounds like you’re feeling really under pressure lately.”

●Use open questions – “What’s been hardest for you lately?”

●Check understanding – “Have I got that right?”

It's not about demanding we always get it right, life is a mixed bag so perfectionism isn't that attainable with active listening, yet self awareness and making good efforts is really felt in our relationships.